The Power of Personification in Emotional Growth

We are all used to having habits that we sometimes loathe. It could be getting angry easily, not having enough patience, or doom scrolling on Instagram. Hating these parts of ourselves into submission is not a long-term solution, and why go hardcore when you can use a gentler process? Personifying these habits makes it easier to face them and we can make better choices while avoiding guilt or shame. In our storytelling sessions, we sometimes personify such habits, and this blog post helps us understand the theory behind it. This way, the kids have fun with the School of Values sessions and activities, and parents have a solid process to follow.

I believe kids have a great instinct to catch hypocrisy. They will not listen to you if you don't genuinely believe in something. The greatest way to teach them is by leading by example. This theory is something I have learned in therapy, and now it's a major part of my life, for the good and the bad.

When we are working on unearthing something deep in therapy, and it becomes very uncomfortable, I know I have found a part of myself. So far, I have found a couple of versions of me that have come out to help in my journey at different times: The Amazon, The Rajput Warrior, The Manager, The Meh (bored one), The Catty Teen, and my N.O.W. I imagine them at a board table like in "Inside Out," which, by the way, is a wonderful movie packed with wisdom on how to emotionally regulate ourselves.

When we identify completely with one emotion, then we bear the brunt of all the judgment we have against it as well. How can we deal with our emotions if we believe that we are ‘bad’? Imagine a sky full of clouds. Even if there are storm clouds, rain, and lightning, the sky is still always there. Hidden maybe, but still there. Imagine yourself as the sky experiencing the clear day or the rain clouds. You are feeling angry, but you yourself aren't anger. Of course, this is again easier said than done.

That is where personifying the different parts of ourselves helps. It feels a bit silly at first, just like learning any skill. I always ask my students to give themselves permission to look and feel like a monkey when learning a new thing. Now, with that permission, try to really feel everything you are feeling. Create a safe space for yourself where you aren't judged. Do you feel angry at the world? Do you feel burned out? Try to give a name to what you feel. Take this character outside your body and really imagine their details. Do this process with a conscious intention of being gentle with yourself. The clarity that comes when you identify a part of yourself doesn't come when you force it. Sometimes these parts appear when you need them the most, so trust your innate wisdom.

An example of how these parts tend to come out on their own: When things start falling apart around you, maybe you have someone under your wing to take care of, or when you have no safety net, a part of you could emerge who is so strong that you wouldn't have met that side before. Someone who can think on their toes and make split-second decisions or who can fight and stand their ground when needed. Appreciate these parts, and now you have a wonderful version of yourself that can come up when you need that kind of strength again. I call my gentle but stern warrior “The Amazon” and the ferocious but elegant part of me “The Rajput Warrior.”

But these parts don't need to be forced out through trauma. We can meet them consciously and from a much better place if we take time out of our lives to prioritize this. This way, we can skip the trauma and become bigger than our problems.

For example, in our Nature Writing Class, we created a character for the students to represent

validation—Validi. We first discussed how wanting attention or validation when we do something is a natural part of being human. But instead of always depending on external sources for it, we can do it ourselves. This way, we can avoid the disappointment of expectations and empower ourselves.

To help you integrate this theory into your daily life, I’ve created a journal sheet with specific questions and exercises. This sheet is designed to guide you through the process of identifying and personifying different aspects of yourself, reflecting on their impact, and finding ways to harmonize

these parts. Use this tool to deepen your self-understanding and enhance your emotional regulation skills. Enjoy the journey of self-discovery and growth! To receive your free journal sheet, simply click here.